hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
