sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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