i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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