No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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