i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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