She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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