Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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