He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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