I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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