is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
