you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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