you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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