I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize