are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
