I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
