Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
