: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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