You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
