I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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