Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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