Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
