My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
