we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Houston, we have a blender
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
