is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
