Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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