scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
