As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
