I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize