We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
