I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
