We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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