he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
