You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
