physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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