I heard we made out
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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