This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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