i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
