I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
