Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize