You really coming over, don't trick.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
