when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
