I am puke
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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