I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
