No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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