ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize