New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
