You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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