I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
