I can text with my tongue
I just threw up on my dentist
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
