im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
