enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize