its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
