direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
