thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
