Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
