She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
