Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
