I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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