Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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