Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize