that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
