Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
