i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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