this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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