i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
