I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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