So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
