C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize