508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
