i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
